Reasons why you’re cocking up your customer retention
Everything is always about leads innit. The remorseless grind for more clicks! More traffic! Sell everything all the time! Of course we all need money, but that attitude always comes at the cost of looking after the customers once they’ve entered your eco-system.
I’ve seen first hand the damage that complete apathy towards customers does to a business. It’s a bit like the opening of The Thing when the dog goes all mangled. Horrible to look at, but you can’t quite look away. Great film btw, top 5 easy.
There’s that heavily quoted study that clever dicks like to drop into slides (he says, preparing to mention the study, like a clever dick), by Bain & Company and the Harvard Business Review. The data shows that increasing your customer retention by 5%, can boost your profits from 25% to 95%. NINETY FIVE PERCENT!? You are literally PISSING money down the drain by not focusing on it.
That same research also points out that acquiring a new customer is anywhere from 5 to 25 times more expensive than retaining an existing one. Data published by Marketing Metrics says that the probability of selling to an existing customer sits around 60-70%, while the odds of converting a complete stranger sit at a lowly 5 to 20%. Woof.
It’s infinitely easier (and cheaper) to look after people who have handed over their money. They just want to love you. Why won’t you love them back? What’s your problem mate?
Stop lining the pockets of ultra-rich pseudo-humans like *uckerberg and stop pissing off the people who have chosen you. It’s so simple.
Here’s some things that you’re probably cocking up:
CRAP COMMUNICATIONS
Just let your customers know what’s going on. It’s so, so easy lads. If a delivery is going to be late, just pick up the phone or email them. Too busy? Tough tits, get it done, or don’t whinge when you get another 1* shit fest review.
TOO MUCH WAFFLE
Get to the point. Give the customer the information they need. Don’t tell them about a blog for a penis bollard in their order confirmation.
MAKING IT TOO HARD TO TALK TO YOU
Put your contact details where the customers can see if, and stop making them go on an easter egg hunt. No reply emails are the death of patience.
WEAPONISED INCOMPETENCE
DO NOT charge your customers cancellation fees if you have delayed their delivery. It’s blackmail.
RADIO SILENCE
Keep in touch once the customer has ordered with you. If they need to chase you more than once for an update, you’ve lost them forever.
AI CHATBOTS DON’T GET IT
Your AI chatbot can’t run into the warehouse to chat to Alan who knows exactly when a missing bag of accessories is going out.
LOYAL CUSTOMERS ARE GREAT MATES
Rolling out the red carpet with loads of money off and free stuff for brand new customers, whilst your most loyal ones get annual price hikes, is a bit of a kick in the jaffers. Keep your current customers with a little treat every now and then.